A Review By Wendy
4 Living in the Shadows, Destiny Calling Love Stars
* * * *
Fame... songs have been written about it... people have done crazy things for it... and to obtain it, what must be given up.... We learn all types of things about who we call famous.. and today unlike yesterday... we can find out almost anything about their lives... nothing is hidden.
But what about the children of the famous...what about the lives they want... do they get to be free and live the way they wish...does being famous someone's child as the way you are presented to others cause you to doubt who you are... what you want and why these people are even talking with you...
In this book, Confessions of a City Girl: Los Angeles... these are just the tip of the iceberg of concerns and questions for Natasha. She is the daughter of a movie star equivalent of Joan Crawford proportions. Ava Taylor was an old school star...in every way...curvacious figure, talented and a persona for the public which had not a drop of truth...for Ava's usual state was out of control; drunk, drugged and more times than not barely dressed. With a pattern of loving hard and then crashing when left heartbroken; emotions and crass behavior was the norm. This was what "lucky" daughter Natasha got day in and day out. A mother who was self involved, blind to others needs and caught up in the art of making movies and entertainment. How does a child survive and become herself with all of that around her? She focuses on a way to release all of the anger brewing... and the way Natasha did it was through two outlets... one was dance and the other was photography. One, she had to give up at 18; it, ripped away... the other became not only her savior but later her career.
We meet Natasha at her mother's side; she is dying of cancer and the time is very near... As it can happen... those who made serious mistakes with the ones they loved but never figured out how to express it... it is when they are closer to the end, they find their voice to tell their loved ones the truth they see in them... the encouragement that should have been given long ago... with insight which can feel too little to late.... or devastatingly real ...actual, awakening germination of thoughts hibernating in the recesses of the heart.
Ava has watched her daughter wither away in a quest to bear a child in a marriage which has been dying a slow, agonizing death... through IVF treatments and disinterest from her professor husband. Natasha has wasted her photographic talent capturing women glowing in the state she wishes to be in... she surrounds herself with soon to be mothers... like a masochist's dream... every shutter a nail in her barren body's heart. The obsession to bear a child ... and have that dream of the "perfect" family so unlike what she had, slips further and further away....Ethan, the man she once loved... he has become a figment of her imagination... as he no longer is the tenured professor... supportive of her... he has now become the Reluctant Husband... barely there...knowing his is else where with someone... missing appointments for the IVF; missing times with her... just fucking missing...
Ava has decided to do what she should have done so many years ago... look out for her daughter. She has purchased a gallery for Natasha to do a show like no other... all of the photographs taken of The Ava Taylor in all her Real Glory... the images which were never available... the images captured by an angry daughter to record what she was living through.... not the fairytale story all the masses thought of the great Ava Taylor... No... the hell of an abusive, insecure, hurtful and vulnerable woman... images which will launch a career for her daughter to level of real recognition. It will be glorious... and Ava deems it so... in the conditions of the purchase... there must be this showing of her photos in 6 weeks... and then Natasha can sell the gallery to pay off all the debts occurred in the doomed marriage. She explains all of this; has the paperwork there, gives a few choice words of encouragement to Natasha and promptly has the last word on the subject by passing.
We are at the showing. Six weeks has passed; the funeral, pr about the show and the nature of the photos has caused a huge buzz. It is 5 minutes to opening the doors and the reluctant husband has once again failed to show up... only illustrating clearer how dead this marriage has become. The doors open and we feel the rush of excitement... the thrill of appreciation for work done... the images are life size and breathtaking. Everywhere, on every wall Ava holds court... but not as the diva of film... these are images of raw, wrecked emotions dripping down the face of an Icon thru day old mascara and smudge lipstick... this is so real the walls are pulsating with Ava's reach... grabbing and twisting the viewer into her pawns... the power can be almost too much.
Natasha has been starring a particular photo... the last one as all of them have been sold... and she is hoping an offer for the gallery will happen as the night is ending. A voice pulls her out of her thoughts and quiet conversation with her mother's image... he is Nicholas Reyes; a once-famous photographer turned investor. She turns and does the polite exchange... yet there is something else going on besides the words which are being said... she met him 10 years ago...at 22 when her mother was photographed by him for the cover of Rolling Stone. The experience was unusual for Natasha as the man that day connected with her as a person... not the daughter of the star... he had sought her out .... took time and listened a bit... while the star carried on and eventually posed for a scandalous cover. Here is this man now... seeing into her head and possibly heart...offering her a deal for the gallery contingent on her coming to Los Angeles to shoot a dance troop he has invested in. More importantly...sh must spend an evening... with him. No... not a hook up; there will be her own room, etc. No, he wants her to go out with him... spend some time and have a little fun... something he senses has been sorely lacking in her life. Natasha thinks on this....breaths... sees the reality of her life... and hears her mother's advice to her through the photo starring down on her... she takes the leap and says yes.
This novella was like those perfect little items we get.... they surprise us with the intricate details; they hold an amount of pleasure which cannot be measured... we are amazed as to how everything just works so well with them. This novella is like that ... there is so much jammed into it... yet while reading all the information and necessary parts... it is like the piece naturally fit. There were a few details which were necessary for the story which made my antenna go Scooby Do Rut Ro... but again, things had to happen in the tale and so... like the items we love so much... when the seams don't match quite right... we still love them and turn a blind eye.
This story is a romance of the mind... not a detailed description. It takes you on a realization of a woman who has been reaching and trying for a supposed perfect brass ring which was never attainable... and learns her "perfect" family is within reach if she leans in the right direction for her.A gifted copy was provided by author/publisher for an honest review.
Juliette Sobanet earned
a B.A. from Georgetown University and an M.A. from New York University
in France, living and studying in both Lyon and Paris. She worked as a
French professor before turning a new page in her career, penning
romantic women’s fiction with a French twist. Today she lives in San
Diego, where she devotes her time to writing, eating chocolate, and
dreaming about her next trip to France. Visit Juliette's website at www.juliettesobanet.com
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